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Kalistani Major History - Printable Version +- Particracy Forum (https://forum.zanz2.dev) +-- Forum: In Character (IC) (https://forum.zanz2.dev/forum-6.html) +--- Forum: Newsfeed (https://forum.zanz2.dev/forum-7.html) +---- Forum: Hall of Continuity (https://forum.zanz2.dev/forum-36.html) +---- Thread: Kalistani Major History (/thread-169.html) Pages:
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RE: Kalistani Major History - Doc - 05-11-2024 jamescfm Wrote:Reprinted from: RE: Kalistani Major History - Doc - 05-11-2024 ![]() ODEN restoration campaign starts BubblingSocialist Party of Kalistan calls restoration of the Treaty its "most important domestic legislative priority" Kaliburg, Ananto September 18, 4681 ![]() Speaker of the SP, Sister Edwards gets "lifted" in a new pro-ODEN campaign In a wide campaign led by various marijuana growing associations across Kalistan and joined by the Socialist Party of Kalistan, public support for the revival of the Organization of Drug Exporting Nations treaty is growing in Kalistan. The SP has declared it to be their most important domestic legislative priority for the coming elections, and has decided to run on the promise to use its votes to bring the matter to the Assembly. Sister Rebecca Edwards-Bennots, Speaker of the SP is featured on a number of the posters publicizing the campaign. "The Socialist Party is a long standing supporter of the ODEN and the dual economy. We believe that there is wide support in the Republic for the restoration of the Treaty, and while militias will be a tougher lift, and will require a unification of the Nationalist vote, we think ODEN, which is noting but a positive for the Kalistani economy is an easier project for our reorganized Party to tackle. We think that there is a good economic case to be made for ODEN, and we also believe that the Treaty helps protect the society from overdoses and illegal drug activity. Increased exports to the world, as well as reduction in crime and strain on the medical system are our major selling points, and the Socialist Party has been asked to dedicate its full efforts to rejoining ODEN." Edwards, the photogenic 26 year old Brethernist, is the perfect candidate for the ODEN campaign propaganda. She is known to completely abstain from drug and alcohol use, but says she believes that people should be free to make that choice for themselves the same way she has. "ODEN works, because those drugs which are unregulated in Kalistan, they breed violent crime as one black market actor fights against another, and both peddle substandard and often dangerous versions of the same thing that ODEN could sell in a controlled environment." Additionally, she said, when the black market sells the drugs, none of that money comes back to Kalistan at all. "Taxation and regulation is a financial boon for our treasury, as well as a benefit to the citizens." The ODEN campaign will run over the next year and will feature retro themed-art, provided by the Beardog Collective, an artist collective based in Eveari, Ananto who have donated their time and materials to the effort. RE: Kalistani Major History - Doc - 05-11-2024 ![]() Socialist Speaker delivers speech on Ananto Strait"These waters are fully within Kalistani National Territory" Kaliburg, Ananto March 12, 4683 ![]() Sister Rebecca Edwards-Bennots, Speaker of the Socialist Party of Kalistan Yesterday, at Kaliburg Polytechnic University, the Leader of the Socialist Party of Kalistan issued a statement on the renewed tensions in the Ananto Strait which were provoked by Dorvish incursion. As the speech went on, the Speaker began to address those nations which were deliberately irritating the situation with their unnecesarily provocative acts of war in the Strait. Here are her comments: Rebecca Edwards-Bennots Wrote:Thank you, friends, for coming to listen to this speech. As you know, I try to reserve my speech, but I am moved to speak to you and to the nation today to clarify the matter of the Ananto Strait. The Socialist Party has long held that the Strait is inviolable, as a part of Kalistani National Territory, and as we are open to free trade but not invasion by a hostile foreign military, the Socialist Party has always held that the Strait, when violated by foreign military forces, this constitutes an ACTUAL invasion of our territory. With that, she left the podium. RE: Kalistani Major History - Doc - 05-11-2024 Rogue Wrote: RE: Kalistani Major History - Doc - 05-11-2024 Rogue Wrote: RE: Kalistani Major History - Doc - 05-11-2024 Rogue Wrote: RE: Kalistani Major History - Doc - 05-11-2024 ![]() Joaquin Delgado Moves Ambitious Legislative AgendaFocus is on re-adoption of ODEN, Reinstatement of Militias Kaliburg, Ananto March 17, 4691 ![]() Joaquin Delgado, Highest SP Officeholder in the Republic New Foreign Minister Joaquin Delgado, working closely with SP and RSP, appear to be poised to begin rebuilding Kalistani institutions. On the forefront of efforts in bills which are virtually assured to pass given current vote standings, the Recreational Drug Act and the Militias act pave the way for readoption of ODEN in Kalistan, and the return of Party Militias respectively. This ambitious agenda reverses decades of Kalistani irrelevance and promises to provide Kalistan the first glimpses of a rejuvenated position in Northern Anantonese Affairs. Delgado, speaking for the Socialist Party, lauded the votes in the Assembly. "We are taking the first steps toward Kalistani revitalization after decades of Conservative leadership. While the SP worked closely with the Conservatives, due to our relative institutional positions, it is time once more to move left. In these efforts, Kalistan will be returning to a more traditional institutional arrangement in our economy and in our national Defense doctrine. We thank for the now defunct Conservatives for their work for Kalistan, but it is now time to restore our rightful place in world affairs." Less certain is another SP measure concerning National Service. The Speaker of the SP, Sister Rebecca Bennots-Edwards, said once ODEN and the new National Defense Doctrine are in place, the SP's attention can turn toward National Service. "We are prepared for the debate on National Service. The NSP has provided Kalistan with economic stability envied by many of the Capitalist Nations of the world, simply by soaking up excess labor and guaranteeing jobs for all Kalistanis. We would welcome the opportunity to discuss the matter with the Syndicalists, who have voted against the matter in this round. We are sure, with certain guarantees, we could move both of our Parties to a moderate position on the matter and rebuild the NSP." Also on the SP's medium term agenda is the reauthorization of the National Strategic Industries, the National Bank, and the Republican Food Bank. "We also want to roll back some of the police state policies which were passed into law under the previous administrations. Civil Liberties are far more important than the need for those in power to assert their authority over the masses, and once ODEN is on the docket, the SP will introduce legislation to these ends." The resurgent Socialist Party of Kalistan has also welcomed Kazulian representatives to Kalistan to discuss free trade, but thus far, no response has been received from Kazulia. RE: Kalistani Major History - Doc - 05-11-2024 ![]() Marijuana Growers Union ramps up productionODEN's Readoption expected to Revitalize Industry Dahriel, Ananto March 30, 4691 ![]() Sweetleaf Plantation in Dahriel expected to sell more than 1 ton of marijuana following ODEN's return The Marijuana Industry in Kalistan which has lagged for decades following the abolition of ODEN in Kalistan, is expected to make a dramatic recovery following the readoption of the treaty. ODEN is one of Kalistan's oldest institutions, but was allowed to lapse following a commitment to redraft which was never followed through on. As a result, marijuana and other drug sales experienced a sharp decline in revenues, and an even sharper drop in production. This collapse of the floor in the drug market in Kalistan did not go unnoticed, however, as it allowed those who had previously worked the land to form a new co-operative, known as the Kalistani Marijuana Growers Association, which bought all the lands previously under cultivation, and preserved the productive capacity of the land. The workers operated the land socially, and shared the profits, while independent growers were invited to buy in to the co-operative on an equal footing. Over the decades, the Growers Association, which replaced the long defunct Growers' Union, gradually expanded their farms to ODEN levels, and maintained the high standards of Kalistani marijuana which had been held to under ODEN. Ten years ago, the MGA worked with the re-established Socialist Party of Kalistan to launch the push for ODEN, which now finally appears to be about to become a Reality. Sister Rebecca Bennots, of the SP has been an ardent public supporter of the Growers' Association's aims to re-establish ODEN. Said the Speaker, "The Marijuana Growers Associations in our Districts have continued many of the best traditions of Kalistan. They have maintained a commitment to equality in their membership, and promoted work at a decent wage for all those who want work and can't find it elsewhere in the Republic. They have also established a high standard of quality for their product which, even without ODEN, serves as the world standard. As more and more countries begin adopting a more permissive stance toward drug consumption, the Growers' Association will be at the forefront in expanding our drug industry and returning Kalistan to its rightful place as the world's greatest producer of mind expanding substances. We welcome their efforts, and are happy to work with them as we take the policy steps needed to ensure the vision of the MGA in Kalistan is realized in full." The Marijuana Growers' Association is currently the largest 100% employee-owned syndicate in the Republic, and their members tend to provide important support for both SP and RSP elections. In all, the Growers' Association profits allow all members to receive a generous living wage, as well as medical and dental benefits, and a very lucrative pension beginning at age 55. Their training program is built on the model of the National Service Program, and they operate many important poor relief charities across the Republic. The Association's President, Terrence Carrangus, says he looks forward to the re-establishment of ODEN in Kalistan. "The guaranteed market will help us fill in the gaps that the government, which is still operated largely on liberal principles, fails to fill, especially in regard to social welfare and public service. Our mission, at the end of the day, is as much to provide the highest quality product, as it is to perform social good, and built as we are on ethical socialism, we consider it a moral obligation to do what the state has thus far demonstrated that it is unwilling to do. It is my obligation, as a member of society. When ODEN returns, my job will be made that much easier." Passage of ODEN will be initiated by October of this year, with its final adoption expected in in 4693. RE: Kalistani Major History - Doc - 05-11-2024 ![]() KRTVN Relaunches with smash comedy Pokes "good-natured fun" at Dorvik Kaliburg, Ananto October 17, 4693 ![]() Eddie Lopez plays the title role in "Der Dorvischer Säufer" The return of the Socialist Party to the absolute Majority in Kalistan has ensured some fairly predictable policy alterations. One of the most reliable bets is the reorganization of the National Radio and Television Network as a "Not-for-profit" broadcasting collective which is purely subscriber owned and operated. The preliminary moves to relaunch the network were made immediately following elections this year where the Socialist Party once more swept into the Constitutional Majority. The reorganization is currently being codified in law. Following the reorganization, KRTVN execs began pitching shows for the new Fall Season. Channel 7, which focuses on entertainment programming, greenlit a program with a very strange concept, and this show has turned into the sleeper hit of the year. "Der Dorvischer Säufer", which loosely translates to "The Dorvikish Drunk", is a mocumentary of sorts: The show and its premise are entirely fictional, but at the beginning of each episode, a disclaimer is aired which is recited by a woman speaking in a thick Dorvish accent: "Das Folgende ist nur für den lokalen Dorvik-Verzehr bestimmt. Dieses Filmmaterial darf unter keinen Umständen außerhalb von Dorvik gezeigt werden. Jeder Täter wird gezwungen, 42 Liter Lager zu trinken und dann 18,2 Kilometer in der heißen Sonne zu laufen. Und dann beginnt die Bestrafung. Du wurdest gewarnt!" This roughly translates to "The following program is only for local Dorvik Consumption and must never be shown outside of Dorvik. Any offenders will be forced to drink exactly 11.1 gallons of beer and then run 11.3 miles in the hot sun. And then the punishment will begin. You have been warned." The show begins each week with a goofy sounding polka, called jokingly "Die Volker Polka" complete with the show's star, Eddie Lopez, who's character is only known as "Der Dorvischer Säufer" dancing ridiculously in Lederhosen. He regularly announces the upcoming show and introduces the show's guest stars and musical acts, speaking Vrassan but with a thick Dorvish accent, and then proceeds to fill up a large beer stein and runs out into the crowd, drinking the beer as he goes out. He shakes hands with elderly folks, and he passes out green triangle hats with red feathers on them to some of the more attractive members of the crowd. Occasionally, he will trip and spill his beer, but this does not slow him down: a stagehand is there immediately to refill the stein. The show, which is more or less a variety show, presents the "authentic" Dorvish viewpoint on all matters. Nothing is spared from satire, except always the ubiquitous, but never seen "Kaiser", who is often "accidentally" mentioned in the scene at a comedic moment. The mere mention of "The Kaiser" effectively ends the scene, with a close up of Lopez' face, who has faux welled up with tears of admiration for his beloved "fuhrer", just before the show cuts away to commercial. The acts feature general Dorvik themed buffoonery, and excellent Nationally known musical groups always grace the stage, but invariably, the camera cuts away from the bands to Lopez, who is slightly offstage waving an 8 foot wide Dorvik flag on a pole, and chugging some sort of alcohol. Whenever a reggae band has been booked, Lopez has been known to stop the band midsong and insist that they play polka--apparently, reggae sounds like offbeat polka to him and it seems to inspire him to demand a "Traditional song from der Vaterland!" Only a few bands have actually obliged him so far this season, with one band, Burning Gong, deciding to walk off the show when The Dorvikish Drunk wouldn't let them continue until they played a few bars of the "Pretzel Polka" which he was at the moment, drunkenly attempting to sing for them. Unlike other farcical variety shows of this type, "Der Dorvischer Säufer" features absolutely no nudity or vulgar language. There are a number of adult oriented jokes, plenty of scantily clad cast members, both male and female, double entendres and innuendos, but they are delivered so wittily that only those listening for them will get them. Lopez, for his part, said "I don't even drink on stage. The beer I drink at the beginning of the program is so watered down that you would kill your bladder trying to get drunk off of it. It's more like beer flavored seltzer water." The show is among the more wholesome programs on the television, though its satire is very biting. There are casual references to mindless militarism, flippant discussion of brutally crushing foreign lands, and graphic depictions of fiercely regimented society. "If you didn't know anything about Dorvik, you'd think the whole place was like a boot camp completely awash in booze and polka," said Lopez. But he defends the program. "I think, to be completely honest, that we are showing the best of a great imperial power like Dorvik. I mean: I believe some Dorvish fieldmarshals would legitimately admire the shine of my black boots... If their government would ever uncensor their televisions, I mean..." Lopez, who was born in Gaduridos, but immigrated to Kalistan as an infant, is from Sulari. He started acting in school comedies at the age of 14, and was considered one of the most charismatic actors of the last decade, before tragedy struck him and he was in a motorcycle accident. Since then, his star fell and he was forgotten, for the most part until he was cast in this year's breakout hit. "They said they were looking for someone who could do a Dorvik accent: Not so well that anyone would be fooled, but well enough that it would take advantage of the weird ticks of the Dorvish language. By the time I went in, I was close to 300 pounds, I was graying significantly, I didn't really have a shot. So when I was practicing for the audition, I was reading some lines from one of my old plays, and was chewing on a particularly good turkey sandwich, when all of a sudden, I read one of the funny lines which always cracked me up, and I accidentally inhaled my turkey sandwich... I was hacking and choking, and finally got it up, but I was like 'Well, when I go in tomorrow, I'll just deliver the lines like I was choking on a turkey sandwich...' Turns out that was exactly what they were looking for, and I was given the part without any callbacks." The show got off to a rough start. Certain "sensitivity" groups objected to the show being produced. "They weren't so much against us making fun of Dorvik on tv," said Lopez. "It was more like, these nationalists didn't think we ought to show anything about Dorvik at all. But the producers said 'that's censorship' and called them all hypocrites, and eventually they backed down." The show was originally intended to be a scripted comedy, with Lopez playing a bumbling Dorvish naval commander who is nearing the end of his career and is given one last command before he is to be retired on a leaky destroyer with a misfit crew. "Basically," Lopez said, "the writers ran out of ideas for that show after the first episode. We used some of those in the sketch 'Der Kommandant', when Elaine [Olgasdottir] came out in that really, almost bikini of a naval outfit... I'm glad that wasn't the whole show... We got some laughs, but I couldn't have kept that up for 24 episodes!" Eventually, Lopez pitched a variety show. "Its much easier to make an hour long weekly variety program than it is to try to build a coherent narrative for a whole season," said producer Francesco Guillermo. "We can write 5 minute segments and do them live on TV. It works... Eddie stumbles around for a few minutes, tells some jokes like he's from Dorvik, we book three musical guests a week, let the ladies walk around in basically nothing, but tasteful, of course, and voila... rinse and repeat. The crowds love it! Its good-natured fun, at the expense of a self-professed world power, who takes themselves entirely too seriously." Lopez agreed. "Yeah, sometimes the jokes bomb. A lot of times, you really gotta know the weird kinks and perversions of Dorvik to fully get some of this stuff. Like: What do you do when your whole country is basically a tundra? How do you keep warm when there is a mountain of snow on top of your house and your religion encourages alcoholism but not contraceptives? I mean, how do you even feed your people when you receive on average 97 feet of snow a year, let alone maintain the most advanced military in the entire world? That's like a joke that writes itself! Classic comedic scenario. But, people in Kalistan can't relate to a situation like that. So sometimes the jokes don't resonate. When I'm not getting the crowd response I need to carry the show, I just give the signal, someone says something about the Kaiser and we go to commercial. Its like an injoke that 30 million Kalistanis a week are in on. I love it. People on the street will mention the Kaiser to me, and I get to just walk away, with a fake tear in my eye! Brilliant!" When asked if there will be a second season, Lopez did not mince words. "Yeah, and a third and a fourth. And probably an 80th... as long as Dorvik is weird and militaristic and has good looking women and is basically boring otherwise, we have all the material we need!" At press time, "Der Dorvischer Säufer" had 8 episodes in the can and is the most popular television show in Kalistan. Perhaps they can keep their momentum. PROST! RE: Kalistani Major History - Doc - 05-11-2024 ChitinKal Wrote: |