Heidi Richards, reigning Queen of Surf, has died
Fatal Car Crash near Xanadu ends brief but spectacular life
Xanadu, Grand Duchy of Ananto
September 30, 5741


Heidi Richards, with fellow surfer Megan Weiss at Luxon Beach in late August, catching the last waves of this year's Luxon Swell

The reigning Queen of Surf, Heidi Richards, 25 of Luxon Ananto has died.  Details are still limited regarding the tragic events that led to the demise of the world famous surfer and swimsuit model, but what is known is that a fatal car crash in the mountains north of Xanadu in northern Luxon County was the ultimate cause of death.  County police were called to the scene of the crash shortly after 1:30 am on the morning of September 24 to investigate what witnesses called a roll over.  When the car was searched, its driver was not found.  The car, registered to Ms. Richards, was laying on its side, and Ms. Richards had been thrown from the vehicle.  Police do not believe she was wearing a seatbelt.  EMS personnel arrived on the scene, but were unable to revive Ms. Richards, and she was declared dead on the site.

Richards had a meteoric rise to fame over the last couple years.  In her first year as a professional surfer, she had a flawless season, and claimed the coveted Triple Crown of Surfing.  Her fellow competitors all gave her high marks for pushing the sport forward with her daring, devil may care attitude.  Regular surfing partner and friendly rival, Megan Weiss said in the short time Richards had been surfing, she had inspired so many other surfers to adapt to her, to the point that many people changed their style.  "I think after watching her the first year and actually surfing with her this year, my style is changed.  She always surfs sh-- other people would say was either crazy or a waste of time, but for her no wave is a waste, except the ones you don't go after.  And when the swells hit, man, she is on the top of every one of them, no matter where they are breaking.  She's fearless-- She's what everyone should be out there on the water."

This year, Richards almost completed the Triple Crown for the second time in as many years, but missed the top spot at Luxon by less than a point.  Her fellow surfers celebrated her excellence any way.  "Yeah, she's the best there is," said invitational's Champion Collin Apton.  "I had a good day, she's just consistently great, like all the time."  Next year, she will be featured in Dah Surfboard Company's 5742 Calendar, the first model to claim every month of the year in the annual publication.

Richards grew up in Luxon, and was the daughter of a fisherman and a teacher.  She started surfing late in her life, taking it up during her enlistment in the NSP.  "I didn't really even know how to swim until after I joined the NSP," said Richards last year.  But as soon as she learned how to swim she instantly took to the board, encouraged by her fellow conscripts.  She showed off her natural aptitude for finding the best water to surf in, and her late start means she didn't come into surfing cautiously.  "In a lot of ways, she is very raw and undisciplined," said her coach Margot Xavier Swain last year.  "That's a double edged sword.  It makes her kind of fearless, on one hand, which is a skill that has paid off for her, but on the other hand it kind of makes her reckless because she never learned that healthy fear that tells her to wait a second and make sure she's not going to kill herself, and makes her take chances she doesn't need to.  I have a heart attack at least once a day with that girl..."

Police do not believe that that recklessness contributed to her death this week in Xanadu.  "There was no signs that she was doing anything particularly dangerous, according to eye witnesses who saw her go off the road into the canyon," said Rural Police Captain Carl Whitford, of the Luxon County Sherriff's Department.  "We still need to do a full investigation to determine the cause of the crash, but toxicology reports all came back negative: She was not under the influence of any drugs or alcohol at the time of her death:  We are pretty sure Ms. Richards was killed by being thrown from the car when it went off the road and went into the canyon."

The news hit Kalistan's surf community particularly hard.  Many of her friends gathered to hold a private vigil for their friend, and remember her contribution to their community.  "Heidi was family," said fellow Luxon surfer Tama King.  "We grew up together, and when she started surfing and could join us on the waves, we had the greatest time.  I have so many memories, and this just breaks my heart."  Her family has received a massive outpouring of love and condolences from not only the surf community but also from the people of Ananto and Suldanor, the two duchies where she had the biggest impact. 

Dah, her primary corporate sponsor, said they intend to still run the calendar featuring her next year, and will donate all profits to surfing education and safety related charities.  "We want her legacy to live on in the surfing community," said head of marketing for Dah Surf Co., Britney Ritter.  "In Heidi's short and brilliant career, she left her indelible mark on this sport that we all love and her legacy should be one which continues to move our sport forward, both in Kalistan and in the world.”  House Ananto, who had planned to award her the Order of the Anantonese Empire, for her accomplishments in sport and culture, will present the award to her mother and father posthumously on October 3rd, in honor of her earning the Triple Crown in 5740.

"Heidi's spirit is with me," said Weiss, who attended a community vigil in Luxon after word got out about Richards' death.  "We just saw each other in late August.  She was so happy, and she was really just shredding out there on the last couple runs of the season.  A little crowd gathered on the beach to watch us out on the water, and a bunch of these kids joined us and surfed the same waves she did.  The Swell was almost out by then, so the waves were inside the reef, and were small but still rideable, and we just had a lot of fun.  I said goodbye, told her I loved her and headed back to Dana..."  At this point Weiss began tearing up.  "It was all love with her.  She's gonna be with me next year, and I am going to just imagine she's there with me when I compete."  Weiss said she and several other surfers plan to wear black arm bands in memory of the fallen Queen of Surf.

"She's with us still," said a teary Weiss.  "She'll always be with those of us who remember her.  And her legend will never die."

Ms. Richards is survived by her father and mother, her brother, a niece, and dozens of fellow surfers, and thousands of her fans.  Her family plan to bury her mortal remains at sea off Crusher Bank, a place she loved in life, where the largest sea waves of the Luxon Swell grow as tall as 12 story buildings.  A formal memorial for friends, family, and the public will be held in early October in Luxon.  Rest in peace to Heidi Richards, the Reigning Queen of Surf.

Nationalists step up calls for Athosian Return ahead of Election
Democrats and Orthodox conclude pre-election coalition agreement
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
November 5, 5741


Incendiary Nationalist Club Literature invites Athosia to Return to Kalistan

Ahead of the upcoming elections in January of 5742, Nationalist Clubs across the empire have been promoting Athosia as a salient issue. "We wish for Kalistan to take a much more robust stance to recover Athosia," said Victor Delgado of the Kaliburg Nationalist Club. "The Nationalists are poised to do quite well, and the topic of Athosia animates us, this year as well as every other year." Indeed, more have been discussed concerning Athosia this year than in decades past. The issue nearly divided the August Institutional Party caucus, and led to the expulsion of one Orthodox delegate who made personal attacks against the character of a Nationalist Delegate.

"The charges of the Nationalists that Orthodox deputies don't care enough about Athosia are pretty serious charges," said Chancellor of the Empire, Sir Johnathan Mickelson, who identifies with the Orthodox faction. "What we see is broad agreement on 80-90% on all political matters for all factions within our Party. No faction has called for institutional change, or regime change. No faction has taken a stance, public or private against the Fiat, or the Absolute nature of Kalistan's government. Nobody is looking for a rebalance of power between the Crown and the National Assembly. We are all solid on those items. So the Nationalists are looking for a wedge issue to differentiate themselves in the upcoming elections. They happened to pick Athosia and are advocating for an annexation, but that is against His Imperial Majesty's law, so I am not sure where the Nationalists think they are going with that."

Mickelson said that the acrimony during and after the Convention around the topic of Athosia has created an interesting opportunity to work with the New Democrats. "Where we are polling at right now headed into the last month of the legislative campaign, projected seat counts has Orthodox and Nationalist factons coming out exactly even, with some little margin of plus or minus a seat or two here and there. But neither of us will end up with a majority--This creates an opening for our collogues among the New Democrat delegation to play king maker, and we had conversations that have led us to a handshake agreement with Dr. Brandt and her Democrats. This would allow them to help make a governing majority and in exchange for votes on our legislation, we would give them seats in government that would allow them to carry out much of their own program to make life better for Kalistanis."

Indeed, polls suggest that the New Democrats could pick up as many as 6 new seats in the National Assembly as they continue to surge in Suldanor and turn in strong polling in Odufaray. Dr. Kristen Brandt issued a comment confirm the pre-election agreement with the Orthodox faction. "The New Democrats are focused on increasing the voice of the people, of our constituents in the National Assembly and in His Imperial Majesty's Government. We are not interested, at this moment on forcing a resolution of an issue that regretably needs to remain on the table until either the Emperor changes his law or Athosians come to their senses. Meanwhile, we have work to do for the people of our nation, and if the Orthodox faction are people of their words, whatever happens in this election, we will declare a working majority with the Orthodox faction to continue our mission of service to the people of this great Nation."

Nationalists dismissed the news of the agreement. "Athosia is the most important issue of our lives," said Delgado in Kaliburg, "as it was our parents and grandparents. The Nation traded Gaduridos away for nothing. It has returned Luncasi, it has returned half of Bentasur to a phantom naval organization. It's amazing that our National Assembly hasn't voted to dissolve our Empire and become a republic like the Democrats want. Ruled by the 'People'. We have to take a stand on this matter: It is a matter of National Interest and National Pride."

His Imperial Majesty, Emperor William II Ananto is expected to extend the Chancellor's tenure whatever happens in the election, as is customary. It is widely believed that both he and the Princess Consort privately support the Orthodox Faction, though have not publicly declared for any faction. Their Highnesses, the Princess Jennifer Ananto-Rosenfeld and the Princess Melanie Ananto-McLinn both are vocal and ardent supporters of the Nationalist wing. Her Highness Princess Victoria Ananto-Rosenfeld is publicly unaffiliated with any of the political factions, but privately is believed to support the Brethrenist faction and Her Highness, Princess of the Empire Carolina Ananto-Connor has publicly said she intends to vote for Brethernist candidates: Princess of the Empire Carolina Ananto-Connor, and gave the introduction for Brethrenist incumbent from Ananto, Deputy Cathy Johnson of Eveari at Kaliburg's Garden Club this fall. The Brethrenists are not expected to make much of a showing, but within their constituencies, they are expected to do very well.

Election 5742: New Dems Overperform in Suldanor
Orthodox-N.D coalition will form Government
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
January 4, 5742


National Assembly by constituency after the General Election

In an election that surprised few, the 5742 General Elections have produced a win for Dr. Kristen Brandt and the New Democrats. The populist faction of the Institutional Party, who was predicted to win 15 seats, was actually able to take additional seats from both of the major factions as well as strip a seat from the Brethrenists in Suldanor. The New Democrats therefore over performed expectations, winning both Sulari Seats as well as achieving a plurality in the Duchy wide delegation. It also achieved similar results in Odufaray, taking one Deputy spot in Eshar and five of thirteen seats in the Duchy. Nationalists had good days in Vrassa and Ananto, but were matched seat for seat in Neveras and Suldanor and actually out performed in Odufaray by the Orthodox Faction. Brethrenists kept their steady low level seat count, including the Incumber Deputy from Eveari, supported by Her Highness, the Princess of the Empire Carolina Ananto-Connor.

"We are proving time and time again," said Dr. Brandt, at the New Democrat Club of Sulari, where she attended a watch Party with her fellow populists, "that there is an appetite in this nation for public input on how the policy that affects our day to day lives is made and implemented. We are not firebrands, we are not anti-monarchists, and we certainly aren't liberals or republicans. We are just asking, and asking and asking, for more of a say in our government. We want to let the people participate where we can. We want the State and the People to be united. And the best way we can do that is to give them a stake in their own government. Not to ask, 'How can we govern,' but to ask 'How can we help?' And now its time for our government to listen to us, and they will."

The spokesperson for His Imperial Majesty, Emperor William II Ananto, Lord Thomas Emery, said "His Imperial Majesty congratulates those Deputies who won the trust of the voters tonight, and he looks forward to having the opportunity to meet with all of them this year to hear the interests and thoughts of their respective constituencies and civil society organizations. Cooperative government, through the Chancellor and the Cabinet, is a key foundation of the Kalistani system, and the opportunity to work together for the Common Good is the primary objective of correct government." Sir Johnathan Mickelson, himself a member of the Orthodox faction, is to remain at the helm of His Imperial Majesty's Government in the role of Chancellor of the Empire, while Mickelson is expected to ask for the resignation of at least five of his ministers, most of whom are retiring, to make way for new ministers supplied by the New Democrats as part of the pre-election coalition agreement.

Dr. Kristen Brandt was asked if she intended to serve in His Imperial Majesty's Government. "No," she responded simply. "I was asked, but I desire to remain a Deputy in the National Assembly, so I may continue to work with New Democrats across this entire country to organize. We didn't make the ballot in Ananto, so we still have work to do, and I don't think I could do that work while also working very effectively in the Government." Instead, Dr. Brandt said she is working with the Chancellor to come up with a slate of nominees for the Ministries of Infrastructure, Health and Social Services, Education and Culture, Food and Agriculture, and Environment and Tourism. "If the people themselves will benefit from the mission of that Ministry, we want to be part of it," said Brandt.

Kalistani Nationalists also claimed some victories, mostly in the north, but a strong Contingent of very conservative nationalists took seats in Suldanor. "The messaging around Athosia undermined the attractiveness of the more moderate factions among our voters," said National Faction Speaker and Nationalist Deputy from Lucid, Kenneth Alvarez-Doral. "It seems that the closer you get to Athosia, the more important it is to you as an issue. We can't expect the Orthodoxos or the Democrats to see reason on this issue, but across the nation millions of Kalistanis did." Nationalist support remained strongest in Vrassa and Ananto, both of whom have long histories of proximity to the Northern Anantonese Ocean. The highest Nationalist seat counts were Vrassan with nine seats out of a total of 18 seats while Ananto turned in 8 of 16 for the Nationalists.

The Brethrenists remained in the bottom spot, losing a seat to New Democrats in Odufaray. The most watched Brethrenist Deputy, Cathy Johnson, of Eveari won her election handily, with more than 50% of the vote from Eveari alone, as well as significant support from Davon County. Her victory in Ananto's elections, which were widely considered a tossup in December, prevented Orthodox candidate Mike Walt from claiming a victory, and allowed the Nationalists to take one more seat than the Orthodox faction earned. "Analysts believe that Johnson's narrow victory in the Duchy forced the Orthodox faction to need a coalition government rather than simply governing alone" said Charlene Houston, of The Kalistani Republic. "But in fact, if the Dems had not done so well in Suldanor, the election in Ananto wouldn't have mattered anyway. The New Dems success in this election really did a number on both the Nationalists and the Orthodox factions, but the Orthodox faction lost much more than the Nationalists did and successfully forced a coalition. For a faction that only received recognition two elections ago, this is something like an insurgency." The Brethrenist Johnson was very publicly supported by the Princess of the Empire in her bid, and most believe the support of the Former Empress made the difference for the Brethrenist.

Chancellor of the Empire, Sir Johnathan Mickelson said that the status quo in Kalistan will be maintained for the next six years, but did say he was already considering one reform. "His Imperial Majesty would like to reinvigorate the position of Speaker of the Assembly, to act as president of the body," said Mickelson. "Currently that role belongs to a non-partisan Parliamentarian, but the Emperor would like to reactivate the Speaker, in order to head off any potential factional disagreements that prevent timely and effective legislation on His Imperial Majesty's Fiat. We will of course take this up when we reconvene in two weeks, and will develop a plan for His Imperial Majesty's approval." Mickelson said he would likely appoint a member of the Brethrenist Faction, given the Faction's long standing reputation as facilitators and mediators. Any Brethrenist he named to the position would likely have strong support in the Assembly.

Kingmaker Brandt is woman of the moment in Kaliburg
Several high level meetings produce government New Democrats can support
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
February 4, 5742


Kristen Brandt, Deputy representing Sulari, flexes advantage in National Assembly as new session starts

Ahead of any major legislative action that will begin in a few short weeks, the first order of every Legislative season after an election is to either confirm or rearrange the Government. For the New Democrats, who won a fairly significant number of seats in last month's general election, they are at the peak of their political capital in just this moment. And Dr. Kristen Brandt, herself a political scientist and leader of the New Democrats faction of the Institutional Party, is the woman of the moment in high circles.

She has been interviewed nearly constantly for the last month, since her faction swept into position to serve as Kingmaker in the National Assembly. Public interest magazines want to know about the woman who pulled off such a feat in the staunchly anti-democratic Kalistan, building her faction from not even being recognized 12 years ago to now holding a significant amount of leverage within the National Assembly. "We want to work with other groups within the Institutional Party," said Brandt last week. "We are all institutionalists. But the fact remains, our voters, the ones who gave us 17 seats and trust us to represent them to our National Assembly, insist that we make good on our promises too. Part of that is getting into the rooms and being seated at the tables where decisions are made. Ergo, we need to see Democrats in His Imperial Majesty's Government. So we are negotiating with the Orthodox Factions around who they would find to be acceptable. So far, the discussions have been kind of contentious, but also also very productive."

Leader Brandt has been in meetings for three days with both Chancellor of the Empire Sir Johnathan Mickelson, and His Imperial Majesty, who has returned from Athosia early to conduct this discussion. "At the end of the day, we accepted His Imperial Majesty's proposals, after several of the lists I turned in were to some degree unacceptable to one or both of them. I wanted several more socialist of our members in the Government, but each one was rejected by either the Emperor, or more often, Chancellor Mickelson. And the choices of the Chancellor were far too moderate, and in one instance was not even a member of the faction. At the end of the day, the names selected by His Imperial Majesty were acceptable to both the Chancellor and myself, and we agreed on a handshake. I think the Chancellor, speaking from the Orthodox faction is satisfied, the Emperor is happy, and I am proud to put forward these names in our Faction."

The names will be included into the Government bill, which is expected to pass with a clear majority in two weeks. "At the same time, we will be voting with the Orthodoxos to name a new Speaker of the National Assembly," said Brandt, "who will act as the presiding officer of the National Assembly, and will work with the Chancellor to conduct legislative affairs, like schedule bills, organize conferences, and obtain advice from the Chamber of Peers at need. This is a priority of His Imperial Majesty, for ensuring efficiency and comity during the legislative process. His Imperial Majesty was not particular on who he wanted in the role, but Sir John and I agreed that it should be one of the Brethrenist Deputies given the universal good will that faction has among the other three groups."

Brandt said she was approached last week by the Nationalists, to try to get her to abandon the coalition agreement her faction has with the Orthodoxos. "I won't divulge the identity of the person who approached me on behalf of the faction, but they were very respectful and showed me a lot of genuine courtesy during the conversation. They said that they had instructions to see if it was not possible for me to abandon the agreement we had made with the Orthodox faction and instead help the Nationalists . But I am afraid our differences on Athosia are too great, and they wouldn't let that aspect go, nor would I abandon the Orthodox agreement without first giving the faction a chance to counter anything that the Nationalists offered. At the end of the day, we shook hands and the New Dems will be staying with the Orthodox Faction through this first government."

Brandt said her legislative agenda is relatively limited to government reform. "We have some leverage here, and will not be able to take the Chancellorship, realistically, no matter who forms the Majority, but we can force early elections if we are able to trade votes with the Nationalists, so we have to stay realistic. But that said, we can continue to work for the people of Kalistan by promoting popular measures like expanded services, stronger civil society organizations and more money for basic necessities like housing, food, medical care, especially to our rural brothers and sisters, and education. I think we would also like to expand infrastructure in the rural areas. And to be clear: All these bills can be initiated in the National Assembly. We do not have to wait for an Imperial Command to do something. The policy to expand these services is long standing. We just need to start creating programs to accomplish this."

She has stated that she would like to also begin the practice of caucusing publicly with the Orthodox, Nationalist, and Brethrenist factions. "Our constituents would like transparency in their government. They will come along with us where we lead as long as they feel like they know where we are going. This is, after all why they hired us. Public, transparent and televised caucusing can provide that information to our votes, so we can see who is voting for what when." This proposal has cut across faction lines, but Brandt believes there are enough votes from the various factions, to win the matter in the National Assembly.

"And lastly, each of the Faction leaders should have a regular formal audience with His Imperial Majesty, so we may explain to him what our constituents are saying they want," said the Speaker. "Right now, the process is, we pass constituent concerns and requests through the Chancellor, but we can never be sure if they make it to the ear of His Imperial Majesty. We should have the opportunity to speak to the Sovereign ourselves. And who knows? Maybe today's suggestion will be turned into tomorrow's fiat. I think voters for every faction will support this: After all, we may be here to turn the Emperor's fiat into policy for the nation, but we are also here to represent our voters' interests and concerns to the National Government."

Brandt calls her faction's platform optimistically conservative, and feels that these proposals are all reasonable, and can be accomplished in fairly quick order. "We are trusting the Orthodoxos to keep their word on their agreement to cooperate with us in exchange for our votes. We'll show up for them, but they better also show up for us. The people have asked for cooperation in this government. We will meet the Orthodoxos half way." Brandt has several more interviews scheduled this week, as well as administrative work to begin the process of forming the incoming government. "It's going to be a very busy spring," said the Democrat Speaker.

At Home with the Emperor and Consort
Royal Family share secret to happiness
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
April 6, 5742


Emperor and Princess Consort share a moment at Cliff House

When people think of His Imperial Majesty, Emperor William II Ananto and Her Highness, the Princess Consort Casey Leigh-Campbell, they think power, wealth, and prestige that surpasses all other royal couples on Terra. And they would be correct. The Royal Family is estimated to be worth somewhere north of K$1.4 trillion Imperial Rubles in total, hold vast properties in several nations, having a controlling share in many of Kalistan's private sector industries, including tourism, gambling, tech, automobile and aircraft, and entertainment operations. And it goes without saying that the family's massive horde of precious stones and metals which sits in a bunker under the family's ancestral estate in Eveari evades description. The Empire maintains a maritime sphere of influence which extends from Southern Keris to Yingdala, and has held off Artanian imperialism in our part of the world for millennia, while continuing efficient and just absolutist government here at Home.

But His Imperial Majesty and the Princess Consort are also very personable, very easy going, and surprisingly, humble people. La Moda's reporter Natalie Drewery sat down with the Royal Couple at the newly renovated Cliff House. She found them to be filled with joy, using a sense of humor to approach life and parenthood that is refreshing, and quite honestly, far more down to earth than most heads of state in Terra. Below is the transcript.

Quote:(La Moda's) N(atalie) D(rewery): Before I begin, I am required to state that for the purposes of this interview, His Imperial Majesty has suspended the portion of the House Law which forbids commoners from addressing His Imperial Majesty directly.

(His Imperial Majesty, Emperor) W(illiam II) A(nanto): This is correct. We have done that. It is a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Drewery.

ND: Indeed the pleasure and privilege is mine. And Your Highness, I am most thrilled to meet you as well.

(Her Highness, Princess Consort) C(asey) L(eigh-Campbell): Thank you for coming to our home today.

ND: I've never been inside Cliff House, of course. But from all I have read and seen, this place is far more magnificent than I've been led to believe.

CL: It's recently been renovated, of course, but this truly is a wonderful spot for a home. We have have like a 215 degree view of the Sea, we see the Wilson Bridge from our home, and then beyond that is the capital. Our home is set into the Wilson Hill Municipal Park and the Hill behind us, Wilson Hill was, I am told at one time covered with houses that were extremely valuable, but which one of Willy's ancestors tore down after they bought this hill and turned it into a park for everyone in the city to enjoy. And then of course Mary, Willy's Great Grandmother, added her beloved redwoods to the arboretum here, and so now its basically a forest. The property is just an amazing wonderful spot, with easy access to the City, but also kind of insulated from the busyness and the noise.

ND: Well, it is certainly suitable.

WA: It's a little small to be completely honest. We do not think it was designed with five kids in mind. We believe it was originally built for some member of the bourgeoisie to use as a vacation home, and when our family was smaller, it certainly served. But as our children grow up, its gonna get a lot more crowded around her pretty quick.

ND: And your oldest daughter is 12?

CL: Yes, she will be 13 at the end of this year.

ND: Will she debut in Society?

WA: We are going to let her debut at 16. We think our sister Jennifer debuted a little early, but we have decided to let our children grow up a little more before allowing the press to have them.

ND: Will the Emperor begin the Minor Princess' Crown training this coming year?

WA: That is the goal. She has already been named as our successor, but training her for the office is quite arduous. We will work with our Chancellor and with our Sister in Luxon on the training for her office. Between the three of us, we will ensure that our daughter is prepared for this office when it becomes her time to take it over.

ND: I notice Kalistan has had probably almost as many empresses as emperors. That's not common in the world. Why is Kalistan so different in this regard from the rest of the world.

WA: Genetics, of course. By which we mean, we cannot choose the gender of our children. In our case, our mother had two girls and one boy, and we just happened to be the oldest. We think if anyone was qualified for this office, it would have been our sister Jennie. But she happened to be born second, and the tradition is that the title passes to the oldest child, even though our mother could have picked literally anyone she wanted. So we had to give up a promising career as a professional skater, world traveler, and connoisseur of marijuana and beer and accept our fate to become the Emperor.

CL: Haha, do not listen to him. Willy was born to govern this nation. I saw that from the first moment I ever met him. I think Kalistan is lucky to have him. No, he might not have been the most disciplined person in the world, but the qualities he brings to this office are second to none. He cares about everyone, he is very sensitive to the needs and dreams of his loved ones, and he cares for his people as he cares for his own children. And he is such a considerate and generous husband and partner. These are the kind of qualities I would want in a person who is, quite literally, the avatar of our nation. But I think these are the kind of qualities we encourage in our children as well. Empathy, humility, and confidence: And I don't think these kind of qualities are limited to just men, though some countries in this world seem to think that only men can possess the qualifications to govern.

WA: We think our wife doth flatter us too much sometimes.

CL: And we disagree.

ND: Do you see these traits developing in the Minor Princess as she grows up?

CL: We are trying to cultivate these traits in all of our children. But Nicolette still has a lot of growing to do. She is silly sometimes. I think she would be a musician and play in a band if she had her way. We are allowing her to take piano lessons, and she has her own drumset, which she plays along with song on the radio or on her phone. But as she gets closer to the throne herself, she will start to discover that some of her friends, not all of them, but some of them will do things to get closer to her, because they see in her an opportunity for themselves. It is just the nature of who she was born to be, and its kind of sad for her. All of our kids will go through this, to be honest, but for Nicki, it will be worse. So we are also trying to teach her how to watch out for that too.

WA: Yes, encouraging healthy relationships with friends, and focusing on those relationships which boost her up, rather than what is in it for others. We try to get to know her friends' parents, at least on an acquaintance level, to see if there's anything up.

CL: We are very involved in our kids' lives, because we kind of have to be.

WA: We use IBSI to get full dossiers on each of our kids' friends' parents.

CL: Stop it! She's gonna print that! Listen Ms. Drewery. We do NOT use the state security bureau to spy on the parents.

WA: Oh yes we do. Every day. That's half of what we do every day...

CL: We do not. Don't listen to him.

ND: Besides domestic spying, what other measures do you use to protect the kids?

CL: We invited her friends' parents and the school to talk with us. We're about to go to another parent night when Nicki goes into High School next year. We sit with the parents of her classmates in a very informal setting and sort of explain the situation with her, and we ask if there is any concern that the parents have. It's sometimes a little uncomfortable for us, as we can imagine it is uncomfortable for the parents of our children's peers, but we have to be very sensitive to the needs of her peers for a normal experience in school like we are asking for for our own kids. So, communication and openness is key here.

WA: Yes, Nicolette's classmates' parents know us pretty well by now, and we want to sort of take the mystique away from the family. It's a challenge sometimes, for sure. More so really for them than for us: We have laws at our backs. But the other kids have to basically pretend that our kids aren't who they are, and just interact with them like they're just other kids, when that's not really true. Because laws specifically protect our kids. So we need to make a very serious and genuine effort to inform the other parents that we are always willing to come and talk with them about their concerns around schooling for their own children so they have the same chance to learn in school as our children do.

ND: Have you considered sending your children to private school?

CL: We kind of do already. In the winter we go to Athosia for about 4 months, and we have a private tutor for each of the kids. But that leaves about 6 months for the public schools where our kids are with other children, and we wouldn't dream of denying them that opportunity. It just takes a bit more work on our part to make it happen. But we're pros at it by now.

WA: And it is important that our children develop affinity for people who are not in the royal family. The Wilson School district in Kaliburg have schools which admittedly does have a lot of kids of professors in it, but it also has a lot of working class and middle class children who attend as well, as it serves not only those who teach at the University, but also all those families who work at the university to support it. And, most importantly, the nobility send their kids elsewhere, so there's not a lot of peer pressure to look or act a certain way. The high society kids do not go to school down here. Our children will run into them soon enough, they don't need that kind of headache in their school as well.

ND: Does the Emperor not care for Kaliburg Society?

WA: Oh, they're fine. But their internal politics especially here in the capital, are a bit nauseating sometimes. We prefer the society in Eveari to be honest. This society stuff is one of the more, shall we say, necessary evil aspects of the Glittering Empire that still reigns here in Kalistan. But what do you do? We benefit when they help House Ananto support the things we support, so we have to give them a certain leeway.

CL: They're harmless, really. And they contribute millions annually to the city's economy, keeping our fashion and culture at the forefront of the world, so on balance the Society folks are a net positive for the Empire, even if they annoy my husband ever so slightly.

ND: But you Madame are a member of the Garden Club, which is one of the most exclusive clubs in the world.

CL: Yeah, that's correct.

ND: And that's not an issue?

CL: Not for me. It's important, even if you have the ear of the Emperor, or in my case, sleep upon the physical body of the Emperor most nights, to have connected friends when you need things done. As Consort, I don't have a lot of official responsibilities: I bear my husband his children. That's really my only official duty. But this also opens me up to a lot of informal opportunities: I can talk to certain people he cannot. I can pass information it would be unseemly for him to touch, but which needs to be communicated credibly. I can work as an informal ambassador between camps when there is some political dispute that my husband can't appear to be weighing in on. It's how we keep the wheels from squeaking in this country. I have a social life quite apart from being my husband's wife and my kids' mother, and I jealously protect that, because it is mine, not the Empire's and not the Public's. And a lot of the people I consider to be my friends happen to also be in Society. So no, its not a problem. The annoyance is his, not mine.

WA: The woman speaks the truth. Let her have it, she enjoys it more than we do; she was raised in Sulari society, so she's used to the little nuances that we just find to be trite.

ND: As the Emperor pleases. Let's wrap this up here. Please, could you tell our readers what the secret to happiness is?

WA: Get a smart, hot, fun wife: you will never wake up unhappy.

CL: William Ananto! (The consort laughs in mock chagrin) I can't believe you said that!

WA: Truth be told, and wife outrage aside, this seems to be more a question for our mother than us. She is the moral philosopher. Anything we could possibly say on the matter comes with a huge asterisk. We, and we mean our entire family, is incredibly privileged. We have life very easy. It comes with a cost, but in terms of our happiness and material well being, that cost is nothing compared to what most people pay for a tiny fraction of our happiness. So We are not sure what we could say that would really make any sense to your readers, given that true happiness seems a lot more difficult to attain for some than others.

ND: Perhaps the Emperor could hazard an opinion regardless of any asterisk. Something he says will inspire someone, or maybe the readers could put it in terms that they could apply to their own life.

CL: We are quite happy with our life, but we are also very lucky, Willy and I. I think that much of happiness comes with discovering your station and place in life, as it is, and trying to do the best with what you have. The Emperor is right of course that we are more privileged than a lot of people and so therefore have more options, but I want to think that we could be happy in our lives together even if we didn't have all this, all these privileges. Our lives would be harder, sure, but I can't say they would be less happy, because I would be happy with him even if he was some terribly undisciplined corporal in the Regular Force. When I met him, that's basically what he was. A dah-smoking artilleryman who skated on the weekends at the skatepark. He also happened to be the son of the Empress, but this is not what attracted me or kept me with him the whole time. He is a kind hearted, moderate man who believes in order and stability. Nothing crazy, nothing radical. He's perfect for me, and I find a lot of joy in that. I think accepting your lot in life includes making room for that luck and being open to new opportunities when they set themselves in front of you. So happiness is finding the thing you want to do and doing it well, whatever that is.

ND: Happiness as fulfillment. That's nice. Thank you both for your time.

CL: If you have time when we are done, we could show you around Cliff House.

ND: I... will make time, Your Highness.

The interview concludes, the Emperor and the Princess Consort proceeded to give our reporter a tour. She reported that the home is elegant in its simplicity and efficiency. Space is utilized well, travelling between floors is quick, and the only gaudy opulence happens to be in the Consort's private bathroom, which is more decadent and luxurious, as per her request, than any other room in the home. The Emperor and the Consort were never more than 2 feet apart the entire time.

Another note: The Princess Consort found it necessary, at the end of the visit, to ensure our reporter than the Royal family does not use the Imperial Bureau of Security Information to "spy on other parents," regardless of what the Emperor claimed during the interview. Ms. Drewery assured her than she did not think the Emperor was serious in that claim.

Luthorian Art rock band Aristocrat releases debut album on KMI
Pure Sleeze 42 marries Art and Alternative
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
August 9, 5742


Luthorian Alternative musicians like Aristocrat find welcome home in Kalistan

Yet another alternative rock band from Luthori has made the trek across the Ocean to relocate permanently in Kalistan and record with a Kalistani label. And like most Luthorian acts who make their way to Kalistan, they were welcomed and provided an atmosphere not only to thrive creatively, but to earn a living. This time, the band is Aristocrat, a quintet from Shipley, Luthori. And they have released their debut LP called Pure Sleeze 42 for KMI Records in Kaliburg, along with an accompanying single .

"Well, we were quite fascinated by the Art rock movement here in Kalistan when we arrived three years ago," said lead singer and songwriter Mark Craik. "Of course we heard all the records from Art rock when we were younger, Thomas Jones was a huge hit in our neighborhood. But Luthori is kind of a backwater when it comes to professional music. There just is not much going on in the nation for those bands who want to make a living. It's mostly bands you'll hear at the pubs and what not. We knew if we wanted to actually make music for a living, we'd have to come to Kalistan, a nation that actually makes recorded music and supports their artists, rather than stay in Luthori."

"The irony of it all now," said Aristocrat keyboardist Joanna McMillen, who is Craik's sister, "is that if we record a record in Kalistan, it will have a much higher chance to be heard by Luthorians than if we stayed in Luthori. There's not much competition in Luthori, to be sure. So we almost had to come to Kalistan and be part of this music scene here if we wanted to be heard in our home country, because our own country doesn't support music or really much culture at all."

Aristocrat's music plays up on a specific image of its Luthorian members for Kalistani audiences. "We don't try to hide how we sound on our music..." said Craik. "A lot of Luthorian bands come to Kalistan and they adopt a sort of Vrassan accent when they sing. But I think there is a specific affinity in Kalistan for Luthorian musicians, and so it would seem that we would be cutting our own bloody throats if we changed how we sang to try to hide something that is quite widely enjoyed, I think. Its a plus to announce 'We are a Luthorian band' for audiences that are looking for it." The band also plays up on a gender ambiguity, with Craik himself having a stage presence of a foppish effete Luthorian snobbish... well, aristocrat, and the rest of the band donning clothes belonging to the upper middle classes. "We dress well... We are not punks. It is important to present yourself well. I think the audience rather expects it."

But much of the campiness comes from the band's admiration for the gender bending persona adopted by Thomas Jones and other art rockers. "One of our main influences is the glam phase of Thomas Jones' career," said McMillen. "Mark's lyrics are just on the weird side of creepy sometimes. He sings about the awkwardness of sexual attraction, and sometimes, rather taboo subjects, and while he himself is not really like his persona, I think that kind of overt, sort of creepy sexuality is really an homage to someone like Jones, who... Well, I don't want to say this wrong, but I think was exciting in a sort of forbidden way for a lot of us when we were younger. He was freaky, and I think the glammy, campy, persona Mark adopts for the band is his homage to that kind of ambiguity. He really plays with it quite well, and I think it gives us a bit of uniqueness."

The band also drew a lot of inspiration from Anne Jean, the pioneering art rock virtuoso from 6 decades ago. "She was far ahead of her time, I think," said Craik. "The way she played her instruments, she was a real menace to sound on stage. I think the soundscapes she painted were equal parts lush and very raw. And her playing was with a sort of precision we have really tried to emulate. This is the kind of music we wanted to make structurally, this kind of, some may describe it as layered or nuanced or what have you. I think our album here is a tribute to the art house albums we listened to as kids and these were our efforts to make tributes to this great Kalistani music."

KMI released the album earlier this month to generally positive reviews. "Nobody can argue about the musical ability of this group of Luthorians," said KRM's Bob Ebersole, writing the review of Pure Sleeze 42. "The production behind the record, which included Marcia Gotha from KMI's inhouse production squad, and the band themselves, is a real treat. The lyrics, at times, express very uncomfortable subject matter, not explicitly so, but just, like don't think about them too deeply, but I think that's kind of the point. This music fits into the art category because it pushes the boundaries of what its audience will accept, will tolerate. It's not dead music at all, it really is very progressive in that sense."

Craik and McMillen were curious as to why most reviews did not focus on the fact that they were Luthorians, but offered what they thought could be reasons. "It was mentioned, sure, but this is one important point: Kalistanis like what they like, regardless of if it comes from right here in Ananto or if it comes from some place like Luthori. If the shoe was on the other foot, I doubt a Kalistani band would have any kind of success going to Luthori and playing music. First, there would be zero infrastructure to support them. Second, Luthorian culture is kind of inward looking. Whereas a place like Kalistan openly welcomed Luthorians to come here, make music, even music with a very strong Luthorian identity coded into it, they welcome us, they come see our shows, they allow us to make money and eat and pay our rent. If we tried to do this same thing in Ft. William, we'd be out on the streets. The Kalsitanis want us here. I can't say the same thing about Kalistanis in Luthori, which is pretty sad because music fans in Luthori have to import Kalistani records, a lot of time from pretty shady figures to hear even kind of good music there."

Craik amplified this: "I think a lot of Kalistanis think we're putting them on about being Luthorians. During our three years here, you would be surprised at how many people came to our shows and were genuinely surprised that we were Luthorians. But you know we always saw those same people later, so it didn't scare people away, but yes, we definitely are Luthorian. I would say we're Luthorians until we die, but that really isn't true now is it?" Both Craik and McMillen have become Kalistani citizens since arriving three years ago and have no desire to return home, while Albert Criswel, the band's guitarist, and Bill West, the drummer have both said they plan to renounce their Luthorian citizenship if this album sells well. The Bassist for the band, Nate Canning, said he intends to return to Luthori to return to his family's cheesemaking profession, now that his father has retired.

You can check out Aristocrat's entire debut album Pure Sleeze 42 on KMI and listen to their debut single "Children" right here and on Music 7, where it is entering heavy rotation this week.

Megan Weiss wins Luxon Swell Competition
Dedicates victory to her late friend Heidi Richards
Luxon, Grand Duchy of Ananto
August 22, 5742


Megan Weiss, winner overall of the Luxon Swell Competition remembers friend Heidi Richards

In an exciting coda to the saga of surfing phenom Heidi Richards, who was tragically killed in a car crash last fall, her close friend, sometimes rival, and surfing partner Megan Weiss claimed her first overall victory in the Luxon Swell Competition. Throughout the season, Weiss and several other competitors wore black arm bands in memory of Heidi Richards, whose meteoric career was one of the most promising in global surf in decades. Richards, dubbed "The Queen of Surf" during her life, won the Triple Crown in 5740, and many surfers will argue strongly that she revitalized and revolutionized the sport for a new generation.

"This win is for my dear friend, the late, the greatest of all time, Ms. Heidi Richards, who taught me so much, who pushed me so hard to even surf up to her standard... We love you Heidi, this one is for you," said a jubilant and victorious Weiss, who finished the Luxon Swell with 18.7 points, defeating the male winner Jake Branford, by 3 tenths. Observers and commentators said that Weiss surfed her most ambitious rounds of her career to take the win at the last and most challenging major contest of the season.

"Like when I was out there, I could almost hear her voice telling me, 'look, that wave is building, go for it, no fear' like she always did when she was with us," said Weiss in an interview after the contest. "So was riding with me, I could really feel it, and you know, I was able to pop up just at the right time and I was able to get out of tubes I have never surfed out of, and it was just amazing. Heidi was with me, and yeah, this one totally was for her anyway.

Weiss did not win the Triple Crown this year, even though she took the most prestigious contest title. "I did really well in Dana, I took 2nd overall, first in women's," she said, "but the pipeline just really wasn't my day. I was feeling kind of sick that day, but also I just wasn't, I mean, my head wasn't really in the contest, I did some stupid things out there and broke the fin off my deck... It really was almost a lot worse than that. But I mean, I regrouped by the time for the Swell, and I finished strong."

Weiss said she is looking forward to next season. "I still have some good years left in my career, so I am just gonna train as much as I can this winter... I rented a house down in Yoshimi so I can still practice a little. But mostly I'm gonna work out, eat a healthy diet, and keep my discipline up. Maybe the triple crown is doable? It took Heidi 70 years to get it after the Princess won it last. Who knows? Maybe I'll do it in just 3 years?"

Other competitors congratulated Weiss on her victory, and said they want to try to help her carry on Richards' legacy in the sport. "Heidi, besides being a truly amazing, truly kind person, was really interested in promoting the sport in Terra," said Weiss. "I have surfers, all these guys and girls saying to me, 'What can we do? Heidi did so much for me... I started surfing because of her...' and some of the guys were talking here about maybe organizing a surfing school, to help people learn the techniques, and get people on the water. Honestly, that's the best way, its what Heidi would say too. Just get out there and go for it. So this might be something the community needs to get together and work on."

For winning the competition, Weiss won a K$15,000 Imperial Peso cash prize, paid by sponsors Dah Surf Co. "This is of course enough to basically make it so I can just surf until next season starts. It's not a ton of money, but it makes life way easier." Weiss said she has accepted a Dah Sponsorship, but has declined to appear in Dah's annual swimsuit calendar. "Oh, well you look at the girls who are in there. Heidi was in that calendar... She looked like a model, so that was right for her. But, I think I would be too embarrassed to show that much skin. So I just want to focus on surfing..."

The sponsorship will include new gear for the next season, which will help Weiss offset costs, and all her entry fees will be fully paid by Dah. "I'll get to surf for free basically next year, which really helps. The entry fees aren't that high, but 250 Pesos at Luxon can get a little steep at the end of the season if you haven't won anything big earlier in the year. The only thing I have to do as part of the sponsorship is to appear at the Dah tent before the competition to meet people and sign autographs and take pictures and go to a few trade shows this winter. That of course gets people to come buy Dah stuff, so, they are making more than their money back on me. I'd make more if I was in the calendar, but money isn't everything, and its not what I am doing this for anyway."

Congratulations to Dana's Ms. Heidi Weiss, who closes out her most successful season with her overall victory at Luxon.

Investigative Report: Why are Kalistanis so good looking?
Answer probably will not surprise any Kalistani
Kaliburg, Grand Duchy of Ananto
October 15, 5742


Study finds that a mix of environmental, genetic and social factors contribute to perception of beauty in Kalistan

Kalistan has long been believed to have the best looking people on Terra living here, to the point that in 5709, Kalistan was first designated as "Most Photogenic Nation." It has earned several versions of this same title for centuries. And while it is true that Kalistan has probably the best looking people living in it over all, very little has been done to figure out why that is. A new study, published in a recent edition of the philosophical journal Aesthetics sheds some light on the question. The authors, Baltusian social scientist Greg Fernandes and Kalistani popular philosopher Alice Knight, concluded that the reasons belong to environment, genetics, and various socio-economic factors, all of which contribute to creating a healthy and nourishing environment that allows Kalistanis to bring out an easy natural beauty.

Fernandes and Knight wrote: "We need to put a huge caveat on this conclusion: Kalistani photographers don't take photos of average people very often. These are professional standards that our nation's industry informally enforces. Kalistan has plenty of average and below average looking people, in terms of objective standards of aesthetic beauty. And there are a number of things that photographers do to make average people look more beautiful in their photographs, but those are just normal techniques belonging to all professional photographers: things like lighting, composition, quality of camera equipment, etc. I think Kalistanis frequently benefit from the fact that we see photography as an art as well as a profession. Our magazines and newspapers tend to buy the best looking pictures, and then those are the ones that are published. Meanwhile the ones which feature people not looking their best, those tend to end up in a private portfolio somewhere, if they are developed at all. We simply have a higher professional standard for photography, which might also influence the perception that we have better looking people."

But photo choices and techniques only capture what is actually already there, said the authors. "That said, Kalistanis simply look good. We tend to be taller, but not too tall, healthier, with a wider genetic mix, as well as better fed and less stressed than other nations. Kalistanis tends to have better diets, more spare time, and more time outside. This is a product of natural and socially constructed factors that people in our nation inherit from birth that make them simply better looking than people who have terrible diets, who tend to mix only with their own kind in their countries, who spend their lives toiling in jobs that are simply not conducive to mental or physical health, who have diets that are simply caloric replacement rather than actually nourishment. Countries whose genetic pool is reduced by constant civil and international war, who carry stress of extreme poverty, chronic deprivation and generational material insecurity day in and day out. Those factors appear on people's faces and their bodies too, and are ones most Kalistanis will never experience. Instead, we are an affluent, peaceful nation that believes the benefit of that affluence should be spread as widely as possible."

Diet plays a big role in Kalistan's aesthetic. "A caloric breakdown, based on data from the National Food Bank, where most Kalistanis get their basic food needs met, shows that Kalistanis eat between 1800 and 2000 calories a day," said the report. "This is mostly in the form of fish, whole grains, vegetable and fruits. Kalistan's dietary intake is almost all wholesome, fresh food, lean meats and proteins, with lots of fiber and lots of vitamins and minerals, straight from nature." What is missing in the Kalistani diet is food that is high in sugar, high in salt and high in saturated fats and processed ingredients, which are common in food from other nations. "The natural healthy diet is good for the skin, good for maintaining a healthy weight, and good for mental clarity, and it shows in our people."

Also important are social activities such as plenty of exercise and time outside. "There are strong social norms against sitting at home the entire day and night doing nothing," reported the authors. "Television tends to be boring, and meanwhile, outdoor and social activities are prevalent around the nation and accessible for everyone. Outdoor and indoor concerts in the summer, clubs to attend, movies to see--there are a million reasons to go out and almost none to stay home. All of these contribute to overall mental and physical health along with the more biological contributors. Added to this is Kalistan's moderate climate, which is due to ocean and wind currents and allow people to enjoy sun, rain, and snow as they please, and which adds to the strong preference for doing social things out in the public space almost year round."

Finally, there is a strong social norm toward a more natural appearance in Kalistan. "Not only do we have the benefit of being a genetic crossroads of Terra, with genetic influences from western Dovani, Yingdala, Gaduridos and Tukarali from the South, Seko and Mikuni in the north, as well as Artanian and Northern Seleyan influences all mixed into a very pleasant and natural mélange to provide our people with an infinite and wonderful variety of appearances, but we also, as a society have rejected cosmetic surgery and heavy made up appearances, which allows both men and women to look in public as they do in private," said the authors. "Kalistan not only is blessed with natural beauty but we don't hide it with strong chemical make up or physical alteration of one's appearance through plastic surgery. The result is a far more aesthetically pleasing person on average in Kalistan than anywhere else in Terra."

The authors were careful to say that, while Kalistanis are better looking on average, this is not to deny that there is great beauty throughout Terra. "We see beauty in every nation, from Xsampa to Kizenia, to Gaduridos to Valruzia to even places like Luthori or the Western and Southern Majatran nations. We can't deny that there are a lot of good looking people in Terra, for sure, and we want to make sure we celebrate them all. Our mission with this article is to explain why there is a predominance of objectively aesthetic beauty here in Kalistan, why most of our people would fit that definition, on a purely objective standard, and why they appear so often in Kalistani publications. We have a wide group of good looking people to choose from, for a lot of really good reasons, and we only tend to publish technically and artisticly excellent photographs of the best looking ones. So if you think Kalistan is a land of great beauty and judge purely on who you see in our news papers, your perception would be that we all look like models. Not true, but you will find better looking people, on average in Kalistan, than you will anywhere else. Because we eat well, we exercise, we value active leisure and natural experience, and we have a society which permits and encourages all those behaviors, rather than forcing our people to work constantly or starve."

One exception to this general rule is the members of the Royal Family. "None of them are unattractive, not by any stretch. That is generations of the best looking, most privileged, most educated people taking beautiful intelligent people as their spouses, and making children together. That is simple selection, cut and dried. As a result, all of our royals are better looking than any other royal family in Terra. And that is just a matter of fact."