Yu Dynasty Yingdala (4338-4636)

[Wu Han]

ZHANG ZEMIN ON DALIBOR CRISIS: "GET THEM OUT, PRESS THE RED BUTTON"
Republican Leader calls for drastic measures, calls the Chancellor a "wimp"

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December 25, 4292
TIAN'AN, HAN Republican leader Zhang Zemin has called on the government to actively remove Daliborian refugees from their embattled country with "extreme force" The opposition leader has also said that the Chancellor should simply "push the red button" once the refugees have been saved, alluding to a nuclear campaign against the Dalibor government. He was asked by reporters what he thinks of Huang Zitao's leadership on this file, and the Republican leader had this to say:

REPORTER: Mr. Zhang, may I ask what you think about the Dalibor crisis and the Chancellor's response? Is he doing enough?

ZHANG ZEMIN: Quite frankly, I think the chancellor is scared. I think he is scared to show the world our force, because then maybe we expose ourselves. To be frank, I think he is a wimp. Where is the defence minister in all this? Each and every day, I sit down across from the Lotus Party caucus in the National Conference... when they even show up that is... and when I do, I am able to smell the lying breath of two cowards. Out of all 175 of them, do you know who they are? I don't think I need to say anything else, you people are smart.

ZHENG RUOGANG, BOVINE NEWS: Chancellor... *cough* excuse me, Mr. Zhang, what do you have to say about recent reports that have revealed the Chancellor to be unfaithful to his wife... more so, what do you think about his homosexual acts?

ZHANG ZEMIN: I don't know if I believe that to be one hundred percent true, but I wouldn't doubt it if I'm being honest with you. We tried to outlaw infidelity YEARS ago, but I guess you know why it was voted down by Mr. Huang's party.

The latter question is related to an unofficial report by Bovine News, a newly founded ultra right news and media outlet that staunchly supports the Republicans. Their claims that Huang Zitao participated in a mutually consensual foreplay and subsequent intercourse with one of his interns has shook the nation. While some, including most Republican supporters believe it to be true, many remain skeptical, and have even deemed the report "disrespectful" and "offensive". Chancellor Huang Zitao has yet to comment on the allegations.

This pot has surely been stirred.

More to come...

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Originally posted by TreeHugger on 26 October 2017