Kalistani Major History

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CQRK, CQRK
This is Radio Kaliburg, Seleya's Only Alternative

(radio announcer's voice)

Good evening fellow Kalistani's, at home and abroad. You are now listening to Radio Kaliburg, Seleya's Only Alternative. We are a non-profit radio collective, broadcasting over 100,000 Watts on Shortwave, over various frequencies in all bands from the heart of Kaliburg. Our station is funded by private contributions from the good people of Kalistan, and with a generous grant from the Organization of Drug Exporting Nations, here in Kaliburg, who view it as a necessity to get that truth to all of you, as soon and in as great and varied a quantity as possible. We aim to broadcast only the Truth and great music to all of Terra.

Hopefully, you got your orange juice and skittles ready.

Before we begin our broadcast for tonight, let's play some music from, well, this is a highlight from the 4423 Ganjam, known to History as "Monterey"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1zFnyEe3nE

That was Ball and Chain, by the Kaliburg band "The Corporate Jam", which went pretty much unnoticed at the time, but has since been lauded in Music History as one of the most soulful acid rock performances of all time.

An interesting note about Monterey:  That Ganjam was originally supposed to be held in Lourenne.  Our Government was discussing with their government about the possibility of performing overseas for the first time.  Typical Lourenne handsitting and a refusal to legalize tobacco doomed the whole project, and ODEN had to scuttle the plans to hold the concert in Lourenne.  So the Jam was held in Kaliburg instead, and acid rock made its Jam premier instead.  Fans of the Szarrybeat did not realize at the time, but that show was also the beginning of the end of the Valruzian sound's domination of Kalistani market and a return to a more Kalistani sound in music worldwide.

That's history, Lovelies.

Let's talk about the Present.  As you know, Lourenne's government likes to push Kalistan.  They believe they should be allowed to push Kalistan around. But let me say to you, Friends.  Kalistan is your friend.  Your Government is not doing you any favors by asking you to sacrifice your lives below the waves.  There was once a saying, which you know, you can do what you want with.  The saying is "If you are not in, do not join.  If you are in, do not fight."  I know those of you on ship can most definitely hear me when I say this.  Those Kalistani ships that your captain wants you to destroy, they are filled with men and women just like you.  They have hopes and dreams like you, and they have families who love them.  But your captains, doing the bidding of your nation's imperialist overlords, they will order you to kill your brothers and sisters in the other ship.  As our ships sink beneath the waves, you may even be able to see men and women jumping for their lives into the ocean.  Your captain will likely order you to fire your machine guns into them to finish them off.

It is a grizly picture I am painting here.  But just in case the Luthori is lost on you, allow me to introduce you to one of your fellow Nationals, Claire-Louise Bisset.  Not only is she 100% pure blood Lourennais, but she is also here to translate for me, because Canrillaise and I do not get along.  Claire, ma cherie.  If you will:

(voice of Claire-Louise Bisset)

Bonsoir chérie. Ce que Danny a dit était: Kalistan est votre ami. Sacrifier votre vie pour vos maîtres de porcs impérialistes n'est pas dans votre intérêt. Les Kalistanais ont un dicton qui dit: "Si vous ne vous êtes pas enrôlé dans l'armée ou dans la marine, ne vous joignez pas. Si vous vous êtes enrôlé, ne vous battez pas". Vous, fiers marins du Lourennais, pouvez certainement entendre cette émission. Les navires kalistanais que votre capitaine veut que vous détruisiez, ils sont remplis d'hommes et de femmes comme vous. Ils ont des espoirs et des rêves comme vous, et ils ont des familles qui les aiment. Mais vos capitaines, faisant les ordres des suzerains impérialistes de Lourenne, vous ordonneront de tuer vos frères et sœurs dans l'autre vaisseau. Alors que les navires kalistanais coulent sous les vagues, vous pourrez même voir des hommes et des femmes sauter pour sauver leur vie dans l'océan. Votre capitaine vous ordonnera probablement de tirer avec vos mitrailleuses pour les achever. Ne faites pas cela. Trouvez un moyen de résister. C'est le seul moyen de paix entre Lourenne et Kalistan. N'écoutez pas les chiens de guerre quand ils aboient. Vous avez les chiffres. Utilisez-les le moment venu. Le peuple de Kalistan vous le demande.

(Voice of radio announcer)

Thank you, dear.

(voice of Claire-Louise Bisset)

À tout moment, mon amour!

(voice of radio announcer)

We'll be right back, but first, here is one of Claire-Louise's favorite bands, straight out of Outannais via Dahriel.  This is L'émeute, with La Rage

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1Co1mfz23U]

That was Canrillaise Artist L'émeute with "La Rage"

As we close out this first hour of Radio Kaliburg tonight, our sponsors at ODEN have asked us to invite all Lourrenais who oppose their government's unilatteral and unprovoked violence against the peaceful Republic of Kalistan to come and visit us.  Check out the ODEN shops, and see if the product is really as evil as they make it out to be.  You never know, Freres, you might find out they have been lying to you all along.  And then, you might ask yourself:  What else have they been lying to you about.

All are welcome in Kalistan!

We finish out with HipHop trio Olde Cypress Hill, with the title track from their 4119 album "Band of Kalis."  This is Radio Kaliburg, broadcasting from Downtown Kaliburg, Kalistan, Free Territories of Terra.

[Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=buxccDwjkdA]