Likatonia

[ironimpaler]

Senior SCP Minister Richard Hammer announces SCP will undergo 'radical changes' after President Mendelev said to be enlightened after affair with cow
The senior minister announced in a statement at the party's headquarters in Clovisport that the party will be 'aiming to catch more fish' in the next election by affirming a more populist message. He says that the nation has been for far too long been under the hands of corrupt leaders such as Elliott and more honesty is needed going forward. Hammer also says the party will decrease taxes on working-class people and increase corporation taxes, something that many want to see happen. However, Hammer rules out on undermining key party values such as been staunchly opposed to 'woke politics' which he refers to as nonsense. This was all decided after Mendelev apparently felt 'enlightened' after the cow situation and on his hospital bed directed Hammer to make this statement. We are expected to see Mendelev return to normal duties in the coming days.
The Likatonian Chronicle