A Battle Unseen

[Doc]

Royal Suite, Hotel Imperial, Aikums, Dolgava
October 5, 5614, 9:30pm

"Our first day in Dolgava, what do you think of it, Mon Cherie?" asked Fredrick, employing a frequent pet name which is also play on Canrillaise, for his wife's name.

Monica, who was combing her long hair out preparing to braid it before bed, smiled and turned to her husband so he could see her mouth move as she spoke.  "I think these people are very nice.  They seem to have good hearts."

Fredrick smiled.  It seemed his wife was agreeing with him.  "Yes, they are.  Their King seems like a very down to earth kind of guy.  It was actually kind of refreshing talking to him."

"And the Crown Princess," said Monica.  "She's very smart and she definitely has some interesting ideas about how to advance the country.  I am looking forward to meeting her again someday when she is the Queen.  I think our countries can do a lot of good work together."

"I am sure too," said Fredrick with a smile.  He enjoyed seeing his wife take some interest in the future.  She used to be so vibrant and energetic.  But it seems that these last few years have been very hard for her, and it was rare that Fredrick saw her smile anymore.  "Are you happy my dear?"

The question provoked a faint but vacant smile in the Empress-Consort, and she moved toward the bed where her husband was reclining.  "It has been so long since we've had any peace.  But I think at this moment, here, yeah, I guess I should be happy."  She gave her husband a small kiss.

"Should be, but..." he said with a smile.  "Say: Did you hear the one about the three crazy Hosian Nuns and the Blind Priest?"

Monica smiled. "Really? A joke?"

Fredrick smiled again. " Yeah. Did you hear that one?"

"No, love, I have never heard that one..."

"Hah ha. Neither have I. Because, you know..."

Monica rolled her eyes at his droll and predictable delivery. "... because you're deaf..." She shook her head, finding little humor in his attempt. "You know, Fredrick, you shouldn't make fun of deaf people... You're probably going to hell."

The Emperor laughed at his own joke, but then he noticed that his wife wasn't joining him as enthusiastically as he would have liked. He sat up next to her. "I don't believe in hell. Unless you mean Baltusia. I believe in that." He paused, his effort to lift his wife's spirits failed. "You know, things really have been very hard.  It's been four years of hell.  We haven't had to write any letters to any parents for a while now, though.  Someday maybe we can go back to Wilson Hill.  Who knows?  Maybe next summer?"

The Empress Consort ran her gentle hand over her husband's hair, instinctively trying to soothe him, but maybe also soothing herself.  "It's not that...  It's..."  she paused as if she was thinking of what she wanted to really say. She thought she would get his focus onto something else.  "Your mother.  She spends a lot of time in her garden.  I go out there and sometimes see her crying."

"Well," said Fredrick.  "She does cry sometimes.  That's what people do..."

"I mean...  Fredrick, I talk to her sometimes.  She seems very distant and kind of in her own mind an awful lot. I hope you don't ever end up like that, we end up like that..."

"My mother," said Fredrick, "she-- well, I'll tell you kind of a story.  I was maybe 10 or something, just a real idiot. I could still hear a lot back then...  But I was screwing around, you know...  just being kind of wild, and I must have really got on her nerves.  She was telling me to stop running around and jumping off things, and yelling, and joking and everything, and I really wouldn't. And I was just going crazy and I ran into the back of her chair where she was working and I think I made her mess up some letter she was trying to write. She turned on me.  And I saw her raise her hand, like she was going to slap me.  And I never ever saw that look on her face before.  Her eyes grew very dark: She has green eyes, and the green sort of disappeared, and she became, I'm not joking, like she became almost like a dark... I don't know, like the lights in the room dimmed or flickered, it was really weird..."

"Oh my god, Fredrick, you must have been terrified!"

"Well, not so much, I think.  Because I saw this horrific vision, in front of me, and then, like I could see the future, like I could see her bringing her hand down against my face, and then me spinning back two or three times and falling into this big glass coffee table behind me and shattering it, and then it cutting me up, like really bad. There was a ton of blood and in this vision, I just laid there. It didn't actually happen, you know--I mean, it was a premonition I had:  She didn't actually hit me.  Instead, I only heard a voice that said 'Can't you give me one moment of peace?!'"

"How scary!" said Monica.

"Except, the strange thing is, I didn't see her mouth move.  I only, just...  heard her voice, or a voice.  And it wasn't really to me, like it wasn't me she was really talking to.  She was talking to someone else... or maybe thinking it?  She then blinked once or twice, and I saw her physically shrink.  Not so much shrink, as like the darkness left her and she returned to herself, as I knew her on any normal day.  And she immediately cried and grabbed me and hugged me so tight I thought she would crush me, and she said she was sorry and would never never do that again.  And I could feel it, she felt so guilty, though she hadn't done anything, or said anything, or really even moved at all.  We never talked about that day after that.  But the next day, I noticed that that glass coffee table was gone from the house.  So weird."

"Fredrick, what a crazy story!  You've never mentioned any of that."

"I think I better understand it now.  My mother was always a little strange.  She was far stronger than anyone ever knew.  Maybe my father knows it.  I am sure anyone who has ever gotten on her bad side has felt something like this.  She was weird.  But this job, this life, it really got to her.  She did not like being Empress.  It really took a toll on her, like her constitution- She said once it was killing her soul.  My mother was a simple woman:  She really is probably the most devout Brethrenist I have ever met.  There's a tension between that way and this life.  I think she would have preferred to spend her time in the Meeting.

"She didn't always used to be that way: She was once happy and cheery and all that too...  But people kept f--king with her, all the time, they never let her alone, never let her just live.  And I think she felt kind of guilty that she was raising me just so I could take that burden from her so she could be free of it. She tried to hang on until she was sure I knew everything that she knew, like she knew the future, and was trying to make me as ready for it as possible, but it was so hard for her just to hang in there and not give up before she thought I was ready."

"Do you think that's why she cries?"

"Maybe," said Fredrick.  "Her mother was really sad too, like clinically depressed after her husband died.  She was the Black Empress. I would imagine that my mom carried a lot of that sadness with her too. She went through a lot of that too.  It was a real tragedy what happened to both of those two ladies here in Kalistan, and the fact that my mom was able to make it this long really shows how strong she is even today."

"I guess I feel sorry for your mother then.  Our life together so far has been hard, but not as hard as what your mother went through."

Fredrick shrugged.  "We're different people.  I spend my life trying to put the problems we face in a comedy light.  Some things I can't obviously.  But most of these things we face, like having to live in a wing in my mom's castle while our neighborhood is not habitable...  these things could be way worse.  The war was hard, but now its over.  And here we are in this beautiful city, and our neighbors are so kind and welcoming that I feel more at liberty here than I do at home.  We have two great kids who won't remember the war when they get older, and I have you, the world's most beautiful woman, sitting here in my bed with me.  Right now, its just you and me.  I really have nothing to complain about."

Monica smiled at the very unsubtle compliment.  "I suppose I am not unhappy either..."

"What was that?  I didn't hear you..."  Fredrick smiled.

"I am content," said Monica with a slightly bigger smile as she stared into Fredrick's eyes.

"Oh, you're gonna have to speak up a little more.  I'm kind of deaf..." he said, with his hand to his ear.

Monica knew what Fredrick was getting at.  "I am very happy," she whispered.  Fredrick saw the words forming on her mouth and he leaned in and kissed her.

"That's what I thought you said," he said back.